1 Timothy 6:9-10
As a writer, I’m greedy for prestige and praise, rather than money. For many years I worked for a famous national magazine. I loved my colleagues and the stories I wrote made me proud. But as economic realities bore down on the magazine, I spent an increasing amount of energy on poorly researched stories just to feed the insatiable internet. This wasn’t my fault; I was being swept up in a technological and economic reality beyond my control. But I held on longer than I should have. I continued to write stories that no longer lived up to my standards because the place where I worked was famous! It felt good to see the expressions of impressed surprise I received when I would tell people the name of the magazine where I worked. Greedy for admiration, I worked at a job that made me miserable, dragging a dark cloud of sadness home to my husband each night.
It wasn’t until the pandemic began that I found the courage to give up the praise I sought in order to make time for the writing I feel called to do.
I have given up a solid career in journalism to care for my babies and pursue a novel, one that may never be published, let alone bring me the kind of adulation my journalism career once brought.
And yet, despite my daily feelings of self-doubt, I’ve never felt closer to God. Following my authentic path feels like an act of faith, one that has spared me the “many griefs”
I felt when my life was lived in greedy pursuit of praise.
What kind of greed has made you wander from your faith and pierced you with many griefs? What helps you return to where you need to be?
God, we find it tempting to pursue the foolish and harmful. Strengthen our desire to pursue the path that draws us closer to you. Amen.